What's on my mind…

For the past four years, I have called North Carolina my home. It’s true, I’ve spent the past two years trying to move away from it. However, there are things about this state that I have grown to love. Mostly the scenery, especially in the fall. I’ve also eaten some amazing barbecue down here and met some amazing people. Sometimes while eating barbecue.

So, I’m a little more than heartbroken that next May my state will be voting on a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage. As many people who know me know, I am a proud and fierce ally of the LGBT community. I have a gay brother and I love him dearly. Luckily, he lives in New York, where he can now legally marry (though he swears he’ll die alone). I have made many friends in the LGBT community here in Charlotte, as well. I even wrote to my state senators, begging them not to let this bill pass. I wanted it to end in the Senate. I didn’t want a state referendum. My Senator, (Daniel Clodfelter, a democrat), responded to my e-mail giving me the names of two republicans who were “on the fence” about the vote (to be fair, his aide did, but that’s something). So I sent the same e-mail to those two republican senators. One responded, saying:

Thank you for your email regarding the Marriage Amendment which was recently considered by the General Assembly. Hearing from my constituents is an integral part of the legislative process and I heard from more of you on this issue than on any other in my nine years as a Senator.  After listening to a great number of people on both sides of this issue, hearing the debate among my fellow legislators and recognizing that this is an issue that people have a strong opinion about, I decided that you—the citizens of North Carolina—needed the opportunity to vote on this amendment.

I encourage all of you to go to the polls to vote on the Marriage Amendment.

Sincerely,
Senator Richard Y. Stevens

Kind of cowardly, right? The subtext says to me, “I didn’t want to take a stand, so I’m letting you guys duke it out.” So, will our state decide to make discrimination a part of its constitution? Will it stand on the wrong side of history? Will it forget that constitutions work best when they enumerate freedoms, not when they restrict them?

Who knows.

There was an article in today’s Observer about how the religious community is split on the issue. As posh and liberal as Charlotte may seem at times, this is still the home of Billy Graham and many people still take their cues from religious leaders.

Equality NC and many other groups are out lobbying against the proposed ban. According to an article from that group, there is more at stake than just banning same-sex marriages. The wording could also impact heterosexual unmarried couples. The bill states that, “Marriage between a man and a woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized by this State.”

There are a few Facebook events where people plan to vote against the amendment. The one I have RSVP’d to has more that 44,000 other people in attendance. I know that isn’t a reliable prediction and I know other polls will be more accurate. But it gives me some hope. Perhaps the people of North Carolina will rise to meet the challenges of recognizing humanity, instead of falling prey to fear and prejudice.

In a state that not so long ago was scarred by the memory of Jim Crow, we cannot allow discrimination to become a part of the law of the land again.

There are a few local stories that have caught my attention and that I would like to discuss further.

One story is about a local therapeutic riding center called Joshua’s Farm. In 2007, Joshua’s Farm was bought by another non-profit called LifeSpan. They sold the 23-acre complex and stables to LifeSpan for $10. I started to get queasy when I read that LifeSpan dismantled the program this month. They said it was losing too much money. In the article, they point out that the farm served fewer than 40 people and that lessons cost $123 to run, but the farm only charged $30 per lesson. The other part that makes me queasy? LifeSpan is considering selling the farm in order to pay off the debts. Look, I understand that people don’t like to lose money, but who gets into the non-profit game to make money? Change the model a bit. Apply for more grants. Do something. Don’t dismantle the program and sell the land! For chrissake people! I volunteered at a therapeutic riding center once and it’s amazing to see, especially for a horse lover like me. The kids really respond to the gentle giants. It’s often a second chance for the horse, too. Many of them are rescue horses or are too old to be ridden a lot. According to the article, the only other riding program is about 30 miles away. The comments are kind of heartbreaking, too. There are people whose children ride there and they noticed the difference in atmosphere when the farm was sold. Look, LifeSpan. Either return the $10 and give back the land or reinstate the program. It’s the right thing to do.

The other story that really pierces my heart is the story of missing 10-year-old Zahra Baker. She is missing and presumed dead. While the police in Hickory hope to find her alive, they are considering the investigation a homicide investigation. Her stepmother is what really churns your stomach. She left a fake ransom note for Zahra. Her daughter, Zahra’s stepsister, asked a judge not to release her mother. The daughter said that she is unstable and potentially dangerous. The article I linked to describes the stepmother’s Myspace page where she refers to 10-year-old cancer survivor Zahra as “The dark one.” Really? Really lady? She’s the dark one. The stepmom was found to be a flight risk (the day after Zahra was reported missing, she talked about wanting to move) and the judge raised her bond money. Zahra is deaf and has a prosthetic leg. According to the Hickory police, the leg is missing and the hearing aids were left in the house. Thinking about the situation makes me ill and my eyes tear up. I hope they find this girl alive. I hope they find out what happened. I hope she’s then placed into a better situation (based on media reports, it seems that the stepmother may have been abusive). If that is too much to hope for, I hope they find her body and that her mother and father can find closure.

There’s a lot going on…but those two stories are really getting to me.

In July of 2007 I moved from the city of brotherly love to the queen city. Since that was six months ago, I will back track using bullet points.

Here are some of my thoughts from the first few months:

1) “My what a clean city.” Seriously. After Ray Nagin, the mayor of New Orleans, visited Philadelphia in April of 2007 he told New Orleanians:

Let me tell you something: Ya’ll outa go to Philly, and you will appreciate how clean New Orleans is. Just go and walk around Philly a little bit, and you will appreciate – am I lying? You will appreciate New Orleans. We still have some work to do, but we definitely beat them by a long shot.

Charlotte seemed immaculate.

2) “When did this road change?” This bothers me to this day. The city needs to utilize their road signs. The “Do Not Enter” signs are placed in a way that it looks like you can’t enter a one way street that is going in your direction. And larger street signs would not be a miss.

3) “Where’s the fire?” Jeez Charlotte drivers, slow down! This is another one that gets to me. It made me miss Philadelphia drivers. Ever driven in Philadelphia? I shouldn’t miss them.

4) “Public Transportation? Really?” Every morning and afternoon when I drove for an hour to my apartment (about 19 miles away) I would remember the days when I was in college and I took a SEPTA train to and from school. It was nice. It took about 30 minutes, there was no traffic…all I had to do was show up on time. Of course it wasn’t perfect. It was late and trains broke down and there were areas of Philadelphia where it didn’t really go, but it was better than nothing.

5) “I want a zoo.” Ya know? Sometimes you just want to go look at monkeys. I once told someone that the Liberty Bell got boring, but the Philadelphia Zoo never did.

6) “Wow, I feel safe here.” Philadelphia’s crime rate is now breaking records. The newly sworn in Mayor Nutter declared it an emergency. But here, I don’t hear gunshots almost every night and I don’t feel like I need to carry my tazer. Good job.

7) “McCrory seems nice.” When I moved here he was in Esquire and about to break the record for consecutive terms. Former Philadelphia Mayor John Street wasn’t known for his charisma and looks. It was an odd 180.

8 ) “Why are the sports fans so nice?” I don’t think they’d boo Santa Claus or cheer over career ending injuries… weird.

9) “Wawa? I wish.” Anyone who has been to a Wawa knows what I’m talking about.

10) “ I miss my dog.” I would have said that regardless of where I moved.

I’m not sure which city I like more. I’m still testing the waters in Charlotte. We’ll see what happens as I slowly call this place home.