Upon viewing the inauguration of the 44th president…

You guys…

Jed Bartlett, West Wing, NBC      President Barack Obama

 

…it finally happened.

 

America is now the closest it will likely ever come to having President Jed Bartlett in the Oval Office. 

 

Also the first African-American president was sworn into office. But everyone’s hammering on that fact and ignoring the Bartlett-esque oratory skills our new president possesses. 

 

Observe:

We did not expect nor did we invite a confrontation with evil. Yet the true measure of a people’s strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive. Forty-four people were killed a couple of hours ago at Kennison State University. Three swimmers from the men’s team were killed and two others are in critical condition, when, after having heard the explosion from their practice facility, they ran into the fire to help get people out. Ran into the fire. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They’re our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we’re reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard. We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars. God bless their memory, God bless you and God bless the United States of America.    -Bartlett, 20 Hours in America, Part II

and…

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate. Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.This is the price and the promise of citizenship. -Barack Obama, Inauguration Address

Pretty good, eh?

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace. To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist. -Barack Obama, Inauguration Address

and…

We’re for freedom of speech everywhere. We’re for freedom to worship everywhere. We’re for freedom to learn… for everybody. And because in our time, you can build a bomb in your country and bring it to my country, what goes on in your country is very much my business. And so we are for freedom from tyranny, everywhere, whether in the guise of political oppression, or economic slavery, or religious fanaticism. That most fundamental idea cannot be met with merely our support. It has to be met with our strength. Diplomatically, economically, materially.” -Jed Bartlett, “Inauguration, over there.”

I rest my case. These are exciting times.

In less than a week, Obama has done more for the rights of women than the previous administration did in eight years. In less than a week, he has done more for human rights than the previous administration did in eight years by moving to close Gitmo. 

But it’s been six days. That’s it. He wasn’t kidding about hitting the ground running. However, people need to stop acting like he’s hit the hundred day mark. You remember that, it’s the mark by which we normally judge presidents. 

To say people have high expectations would be a gross understatement. People have astronomical expectations. Can he meet them? I don’t think anyone can. But he’s trying. And contrary to wash Mr. Limbaugh would tell you, he deserves our support.

I’m excited for the next four years. And I’m hopeful. 

 

…and I’ve had this ridiculous urge to watch The West Wing, ever since last week.

I vant to suck your blood…but there are some ground rules.

I feel I must preface this entire entry by saying that I haven’t read Twilight. Nor have I seen the movie. Though I’ve heard a lot about it. And I’m sure I’d like the books, but for now I’m going to rail against them for a bit. But, I won’t be picking on Twilight alone…I have some issues with a lot of new vampire-genre books, tv shows or movies. Vampire laws are different in every single one of them. This must stop. The viewer has to sit there and figure out what vampires can and can’t do in each different story and it’s exhausting. They can go outside in this, but not this. They can eat garlic in this, not that…see what I mean? I’m a helpful person by nature, so here are the new rules. Scriptwriters, authors, comic book writers and anyone else looking to make a vampire story–take heed.

  • FANGS. You have to have them. Otherwise you’re not really a vampire now, are you? You’re really kind of a zombie with higher cognitive functioning and the need for blood instead of brains. The retractable fangs in “True Blood” are fine…though Wolverine-esque and funny at times. But Twilight…grow some fangs. The fangs have to be the canine teeth, too. I’ve seen people do front teeth or molars. No. Canine teeth. It was good enough for Dracula.
  • DAYLIGHT. You can’t go out in it. I was on the fence for a while about making an exception for Blade the daywalker. But after a lot of soul-searching I decided that the “mother was bitten while I was born” story was too convenient and if you make an exception for one vampire (no matter how awesome) it leaves the door open. So a blanket no. The whole “Glittering” thing you’ve got going on is lame Twilight. Hang it up. You’re a creature of the night, so act like it. Deacon, no sunblock is strong enough to block all of the UV. I’m not saying they should combust the minute there’s sunlight. But they should burn. Maybe melt. But definitely burn. I don’t fully understand why sunlight makes them burn up, I’m sure in some cultures it has to do with the evil-light vs. dark thing and in other cultures it’s simply because they’re dead, but it has always made them burn up. So, let’s not deviate 200 years later.
  • VAMPIRE/HUMAN BABIES. Knock that shit off. I know that won’t be popular, so let me explain. I’m not saying you can’t date a vampire, I’m not saying you can’t marry a vampire…but you can’t get pregnant from a vampire. They’re dead. They appear alive, but really they only breathe out of habit. They’re very much dead. There’s just no way they can emit semen. I’m sorry. Being dead means thatnone of your systems work. Reproductive included. But, again–you can date, have sex and marry to your heart’s content. You can even adopt. But a male vampire can’t knock someone up and a female vampire can’t get knocked up.
  • ON BECOMING A VAMPIRE. It seems to me that if a vampire bites you, you’re a vampire. “30 Days of Night” got pretty choosey with this and “True Blood” has some weird process that involves draining blood, replenishing with vampire blood, being buried, then emerging a vampire. I’m sure at some point you have to spin around three times and spit to the East. They didn’t show that part. So let’s simplify that a bit. If a vampire bites you, you’re a vampire. You pass out and wake up a vampire. So, no more biting during sex, “True Blood” and “30 Days of Night,” next time you wipe out a village, you’ll make a village of vampires. So I guess you’ll have to feed, then stake.
  • WEAKNESSES. In “True Blood,” there’s a part in the Show where Vampire Bill explains to Sookie that a lot of weaknesses don’t exist, but vampires spread those rumors so that humans have, misconceptions. That makes a lot of sense. That being said, here are some vampire slayer methods and which ones stay and which ones go.
    • GARLIC: Lame. Let’s drop it. I’m not sure why it worked or what it was supposed to do, so let’s just leave it in the past.
    • SILVER: Stays. Its roots have something do with silver being pure and vampires being evil. I don’t really remember. But regardless, it stays.
    • MIRRORS: Vampires can see themselves in them. They can take pictures, too. I don’t see why not.
    • CROSSES: They don’t work. At least not on vampires. Besides, it’s the faith of the person holding the cross, not the actual cross. Plus, we live in a smaller world now and people worship all sorts of different faiths and it doesn’t seem fair that holding up a cross would repel a vampire, but then not a Star of David or something.
    • STAKES: Drive them through the heart. In the olden days they drove stakes through the hearts of people they believed to be vampires during the day, so that the body would be stuck to the ground when the sun set. In honor of the eastern european villagers, driving a stake through a vampire’s heart will indeed kill said vampire.
  • INVITATIONS: I don’t get why a vampire needs to be invited in to enter someone’s home. But there’s something poetic about it. So…it stays. Plus, if it weren’t a rule, that scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Benny (played by David Arquette) is floating outside of Pike (Luke Perry)’s window and asks to come in, to which Pike says, “You’re floating! C’mon man, get away from here!” wouldn’t exist. And life would be tragic.
  • SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH: Speaking of Benny floating outside of Pike’s window…superhuman strength (i.e. super speed, strength, etc) stays. I mean, you’re the living dead, break the laws of physics.
  • MORPHING INTO ANIMALS: But don’t go overboard breaking the laws of physics. Vampires can’t turn into bats or any other animal. That’s just ridiculous.
And just a few loose ends..it doesn’t make complete sense, but I like the idea of vampires having an ancient language they can speak (like in 30 Days of Night). So if anyone wants to use that, go right ahead. Also, it makes sense that human-vampire relations would be strained. Don’t get too preachy drawing analogies between vampires and homosexuals or other minorities (I’m looking at you, True Blood). Also, it bothers me that no one ever asks the vampires about their histories. Some of these guys became vampires a long time ago and we could learn a lot from them.
So next time you’re writing something with vampires…keep these rules in mind and have fun!

Sweet land of liberty…

My country tortures people.

Spin it however you want, but when waterboarding is described to me, it sounds like torture, it smells like torture, it looks like torture…so it’s probably torture.

Waterboarding, for those who haven’t heard, is basically drowning people on dry land.Waterboarding illustration The victim is immobilized, tilting downward. The interrogator pours water onto their face-blocking their air passages. The water triggers their gag reflex, causes suffocation and simulates drowning.It can cause damage to the lungs, brain damage from loss of oxygen, broken bones if the victim struggles against the straps and other long-term health problems. Psychologically, it can cause Post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety disorders, depression…and who knows what else.

In short, waterboarding messes you up. Forever.

And despite the President stating unequivocally that the United States “does not torture people,” CIA Director Michael Hayden let Congress know that they actually did. Oops.

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.  -Friedrich Nietzsche       

The most common justifications are that waterboarding isn’t torture and that it can be justified in extreme circumstances (such as after 9/11). Yet U.S. Generals deemed it illegal during the Vietnam War, we’re still at war and the threat level is yellow (elevated). 

The tragedy of our day is the climate of fear in which we live, and fear breeds repression. Too often sinister threats to the bill of rights, to freedom of the mind, are concealed under the patriotic cloak, of anti-communism.  -Adlai Stevenson       

Know who else used waterboarding?

The Spanish Inquisition. The Khmer Rouge. The Gestapo. The Kempeitai. And God knows who else.

Is that a list the United States wants to be on? And does it work well enough for the United States to lose all credibility as a result of using it?

Government officials have said that they received valuable information by waterboarding prisoners…but we’re no closer to finding bin Laden. There are still threats worldwide. There are still operatives and cells out there.

I don’t know how to solve the terrorism problem and bring peace to the world. Neither does my government. What I do know is that we cannot do it by torturing people and thus lowering ourselves to their level.

I want my government to know that, too.

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