The world is just awesome.

Comments: 0 - Date: December 19th, 2009 - Categories: I've noticed..., random

This is one of my favorite commercials of all time:

Over the past few weeks, there has been some science & nature news that is mind-blowing and, well, awesome.

  • There was an article on National Geographic online about a remote control submersible camera capturing an “elbowed” Magnapinna squid about a mile and a half below the surface. Look at how freaky this thing is:

    I would hate to run into that thing while water skiing. Luckily for me, that is pretty unlikely–they are very rarely seen. This video marks the first time one of these squids has been seen at an oil development, though, according to the article, scientists don’t think that has any scientific significance. What amazes me the most is that we’ve spent hundreds of years studying the ocean in one way or another and we have only barely brushed the surface.

  • BBC News has an article announcing that US scientists may have detected dark matter. The scientists can’t confirm it, but they’re expecting some upgraded equipment in 2010 and the new equipment should be able to give them a more definitive answer. It sounds like some sort of malicious force or something out of the Da Vinci Code, but it’s theorized that dark matter makes up around 90 percent of the universe. It is believed that it exerts gravitational forces, but it doesn’t emit detectable light or radiation. Interesting stuff.
  • This article also caught my eye, as I don’t often think of mountains as “enigmatic.” However, the Gamburstevs are in Antarctica and they are totally buried under the ice cap. An international team spent two months in 2008 ad 2009 surveying the mountains.I’m not sure I would have signed up for that expedition-two months in one of the harshest places on the planet just doesn’t appeal to me. However, what they’re finding about these mountains is pretty fascinating.

That’s all for now, but next time you’re reading a news site or a newspaper, don’t be so quick to ignore the science section. It has some pretty interesting stuff that showcase just how awesome our world is.

I vant to suck your blood…but there are some ground rules.

Comments: 0 - Date: December 7th, 2008 - Categories: I've noticed..., Television, Uncategorized, editorial, random

I feel I must preface this entire entry by saying that I haven’t read Twilight. Nor have I seen the movie. Though I’ve heard a lot about it. And I’m sure I’d like the books, but for now I’m going to rail against them for a bit. But, I won’t be picking on Twilight alone…I have some issues with a lot of new vampire-genre books, tv shows or movies. Vampire laws are different in every single one of them. This must stop. The viewer has to sit there and figure out what vampires can and can’t do in each different story and it’s exhausting. They can go outside in this, but not this. They can eat garlic in this, not that…see what I mean? I’m a helpful person by nature, so here are the new rules. Scriptwriters, authors, comic book writers and anyone else looking to make a vampire story–take heed.

  • FANGS. You have to have them. Otherwise you’re not really a vampire now, are you? You’re really kind of a zombie with higher cognitive functioning and the need for blood instead of brains. The retractable fangs in “True Blood” are fine…though Wolverine-esque and funny at times. But Twilight…grow some fangs. The fangs have to be the canine teeth, too. I’ve seen people do front teeth or molars. No. Canine teeth. It was good enough for Dracula.

  • DAYLIGHT. You can’t go out in it. I was on the fence for a while about making an exception for Blade the daywalker. But after a lot of soul-searching I decided that the “mother was bitten while I was born” story was too convenient and if you make an exception for one vampire (no matter how awesome) it leaves the door open. So a blanket no. The whole “Glittering” thing you’ve got going on is lame Twilight. Hang it up. You’re a creature of the night, so act like it. Deacon, no sunblock is strong enough to block all of the UV. I’m not saying they should combust the minute there’s sunlight. But they should burn. Maybe melt. But definitely burn. I don’t fully understand why sunlight makes them burn up, I’m sure in some cultures it has to do with the evil-light vs. dark thing and in other cultures it’s simply because they’re dead, but it has always made them burn up. So, let’s not deviate 200 years later.

  • VAMPIRE/HUMAN BABIES. Knock that shit off. I know that won’t be popular, so let me explain. I’m not saying you can’t date a vampire, I’m not saying you can’t marry a vampire…but you can’t get pregnant from a vampire. They’re dead. They appear alive, but really they only breathe out of habit. They’re very much dead. There’s just no way they can emit semen. I’m sorry. Being dead means thatnone of your systems work. Reproductive included. But, again–you can date, have sex and marry to your heart’s content. You can even adopt. But a male vampire can’t knock someone up and a female vampire can’t get knocked up.

  • ON BECOMING A VAMPIRE. It seems to me that if a vampire bites you, you’re a vampire. “30 Days of Night” got pretty choosey with this and “True Blood” has some weird process that involves draining blood, replenishing with vampire blood, being buried, then emerging a vampire. I’m sure at some point you have to spin around three times and spit to the East. They didn’t show that part. So let’s simplify that a bit. If a vampire bites you, you’re a vampire. You pass out and wake up a vampire. So, no more biting during sex, “True Blood” and “30 Days of Night,” next time you wipe out a village, you’ll make a village of vampires. So I guess you’ll have to feed, then stake.

  • WEAKNESSES. In “True Blood,” there’s a part in the Show where Vampire Bill explains to Sookie that a lot of weaknesses don’t exist, but vampires spread those rumors so that humans have, misconceptions. That makes a lot of sense. That being said, here are some vampire slayer methods and which ones stay and which ones go.

    • GARLIC: Lame. Let’s drop it. I’m not sure why it worked or what it was supposed to do, so let’s just leave it in the past.
    • SILVER: Stays. It’s roots have something do with silver being pure and vampires being evil. I don’t really remember. But regardless, it stays.
    • MIRRORS: Vampires can see themselves in them. They can take pictures, too. I don’t see why not.
    • CROSSES: They don’t work. At least not on vampires. Besides, it’s the faith of the person holding the cross, not the actual cross. Plus, we live in a smaller world now and people worship all sorts of different faiths and it doesn’t seem fair that holding up a cross would repel a vampire, but then not a Star of David or something.
    • STAKES: Drive them through the heart. In the olden days they drove stakes through the hearts of people they believed to be vampires during the day, so that the body would be stuck to the ground when the sun set. In honor of the eastern european villagers, driving a stake through a vampire’s heart will indeed kill said vampire.

  • INVITATIONS: I don’t get why a vampire needs to be invited in to enter someone’s home. But there’s something poetic about it. So…it stays. Plus, if it weren’t a rule, that scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Benny (played by David Arquette) is floating outside of Pike (Luke Perry)’s window and asks to come in, to which Pike says, “You’re floating! C’mon man, get away from here!” wouldn’t exist. And life would be tragic.

  • SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH: Speaking of Benny floating outside of Pike’s window…superhuman strength (i.e. super speed, strength, etc) stays. I mean, you’re the living dead, break the laws of physics.

  • MORPHING INTO ANIMALS: But don’t go overboard breaking the laws of physics. Vampires can’t turn into bats or any other animal. That’s just ridiculous.
And just a few lose ends..it doesn’t make complete sense, but I like the idea of vampires having an ancient language they can speak (like in 30 days of night). So if anyone wants to use that, go right ahead. Also, it makes sense that human-vampire relations would be strained. Don’t get too preachy drawing analogies between vampires and homosexuals or other minorities (I’m looking at you, True Blood). Also, it bothers me that no one ever asks the vampires about their histories. Some of these guys became vampires a long time ago and we could learn a lot from them.

So next time you’re writing something with vampires…keep these rules in mind and have fun!

Philadelphia to Charlotte…whiplash, much?

Comments: 2 - Date: January 18th, 2008 - Categories: Charlotte, I've noticed..., editorial, random

In July of 2007 I moved from the city of brotherly love to the queen city. Since that was six months ago, I will back track using bullet points.

Philadephia skyline. Photo credit: R & E Tours

Here are some of my thoughts from the first few months:

1) “My what a clean city.” Seriously. After Ray Nagin, the mayor of New Orleans, visited Philadelphia in April of 2007 he told New Orleanians:

Let me tell you something: Ya’ll outa go to Philly, and you will appreciate how clean New Orleans is. Just go and walk around Philly a little bit, and you will appreciate – am I lying? You will appreciate New Orleans. We still have some work to do, but we definitely beat them by a long shot.

Charlotte seemed immaculate.

2) “When did this road change?” This bothers me to this day. The city needs to utilize their road signs. The “Do Not Enter” signs are placed in a way that it looks like you can’t enter a one way street that is going in your direction. And larger street signs would not be a miss.

3) “Where’s the fire?” Jeez Charlotte drivers, slow down! This is another one that gets to me. It made me miss Philadelphia drivers. Ever driven in Philadelphia? I shouldn’t miss them.

Charlotte skyline. Photo credit: probasi.org

4) “Public Transportation? Really?” Every morning and afternoon when I drove for an hour to my apartment (about 19 miles away) I would remember the days when I was in college and I took a SEPTA train to and from school. It was nice. It took about 30 minutes, there was no traffic…all I had to do was show up on time. Of course it wasn’t perfect. It was late and trains broke down and there were areas of Philadelphia where it didn’t really go, but it was better than nothing.

5) “I want a zoo.” Ya know? Sometimes you just want to go look at monkeys. I once told someone that the Liberty Bell got boring, but the Philadelphia Zoo never did.

6) “Wow, I feel safe here.” Philadelphia’s crime rate is now breaking records. The newly sworn in Mayor Nutter declared it an emergency. But here, I don’t hear gunshots almost every night and I don’t feel like I need to carry my tazer. Good job.

7) “McCrory seems nice.” When I moved here he was in Esquire and about to break the record for consecutive terms. Former Philadelphia Mayor John Street wasn’t known for his charisma and looks. It was an odd 180.

8 ) “Why are the sports fans so nice?” I don’t think they’d boo Santa Claus or cheer over career ending injuries… weird.

9) “Wawa? I wish.” Anyone who has been to a Wawa knows what I’m talking about.

10) “ I miss my dog.” I would have said that regardless of where I moved.

I’m not sure which city I like more. I’m still testing the waters in Charlotte. We’ll see what happens as I slowly call this place home.

Next Page »

  • Tweets!